Things had been comparatively quiet here in Washington until a couple of weeks ago, allowing Gretchen and me to take Saturdays off. But as the planet’s various political herpes sores erupted everywhere upon it once more, like those which appear on nervous, lonely thirty-something women the night before the big two week Caribbean cruise with their prospective Mr. Right, my appointment calendar spilled over into the weekend yet again. My first consultation yesterday was with Dr. Nikolai Mikhailovich Otvali Mudakovich Kisov, a regular client from the Russian Embassy. For years, at intervals of four to six weeks, we have cordially discussed and clinically analyzed trade, environmental, scientific joint venture, natural resource and cultural exchange issues involving Russia, the European Union, [...]


My final consultation on Friday was with Richard Putzenkopf, a senior member of US Representative Jack Kingston’s staff. “These are great times for the Republican Party, Tom,” he observed as he sprawled on the couch in my office, threw his attaché case on the coffee table and fetched a Microsoft Surface tablet from within. After perusing it briefly, he looked up at me and grinned. “Impeachment, Tom. What do you think?” “Impeach whom?” I replied. “Obama?” “Who else?” Putzenkopf chuckled. “The Constitution,” I reminded him, “specifies that the President may be impeached only for ‘treason, bribery, high crimes and misdemeanors.’ Never in the history of the United States of America, has anyone seriously accused an incumbent President of either treason [...]


Friday night around eight o’clock, the Round Robin Bar was packed with revelers fortifying themselves for the Fourth of July fireworks display, which we here in Washington were lucky enough to have escaped the wrath of Hurricane Arthur to witness. The Round Robin is located in the Willard Hotel, right across the street from the Treasury building. There has been a hotel there, at Fourteenth Street and Pennsylvania Avenue, since 1818, and many historic events have occurred at the Willard, under that and several previous names. Julia Ward Howe wrote The Battle Hymn of the Republic at the Willard Hotel, for example, although I’m sure she never set foot in the Round Robin, which is located on the first floor, [...]


Last night, during intermission at a performance of Side Show at the Kennedy Center, Cerise and I were approached by Tolvan Lure, Esquire, well known Beltway legal wonk, who is an advisor both to the Republican National Committee and House Speaker John Boehner. “Tom!” Lure exclaimed, “how are you doing?” “Excellent,” I assured him, “enjoying the show?” “Oh yeah,” he snickered, “it’s great – but watching those two women joined at the hip keeps reminding me of Obama and the special interest lobby! And speaking of Obama,” he continued moving closer and lowering his voice, “what do you think of John’s lawsuit?” “You mean the one Boehner’s threatening to bring against the President?” Cerise inquired. “That’s right,” he effused, “we’re [...]


“Jesus Christ Almighty!” Gretchen wailed, “not that guy again!” “He called me at home and I quoted him five times my usual hourly rate,” I pointed out, “and he paid it, up front and in cash, via wire transfer directly to my business bank account. It’s a done deal – he’s coming here Saturday at three o’clock.” “Well,” she huffed, “if he’s coming here Saturday at three, I’m leaving at twelve!” “Sure,” I agreed, “no problem, you can leave at noon. Only before you go, just be sure to follow the same protocols we always have with him – cover the couch and chairs with clear plastic, put six new filters in the ventilation system, turn the external exhaust fan [...]

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