Sep 272016
 

My two-thirty PM consultation appointment on Friday was with Dr. Arbre Étreinte Birkenstock, Division Director, United States Environmental Protection Agency Office of Air and Radiation. Despite the autumn equinox on Thursday, the weather remained as warm and humid as summer here in Washington DC, and she arrived at my office wearing a sundress, sandals, and no makeup (she’s chemically sensitive to perfumes, rouge, lipstick and cosmetics in general), bearing a knapsack instead of a briefcase. Her mood was one of distinct, positive optimism and excitement, which became immediately evident as soon as she entered and seated herself at the chair located to the right of my desk. “Have you heard about what Jerry Brown did in California?” she burbled, leaning […]

Sep 082016
 

Anthony D. Weiner started calling my office Tuesday, asking for a consultation. Having taken off the entire month of July, I’ve been very busy lately, despite it being summer here in Washington DC, and Gretchen just couldn’t find an open spot anywhere in the schedule. So around six-thirty in the evening the next day, she popped her head into my office and told me Mr. Weiner was on the phone again, wondering what I could do for him, at which point I agreed to have him call my office number after eight-thirty. When I left at seven PM, I made sure to set up my office phone to forward all calls to the land line at my home in Great […]

Aug 022016
 

Late on Saturday, July 30, I got back to Washington after a four week vacation. Cerise and I had been planning it for quite some time, and she had been nagging me to take a vacation for even longer. One important thing I learned from the experience was that it’s actually a good thing to have a girlfriend who knows how to nag you into doing stuff like taking a four week vacation. Turns out I needed it. In fact, we both did. It cost me a lot of money, of course. Not for the summer house on the island off the coast of northern Maine – that was free, actually, a token of appreciation from one of Cerise’s many […]

Apr 142016
 

This afternoon, I had a consultation scheduled with Dr. Jose Baboso Verga Pendejo y Grandmaricón PhD, Principal Economic Attaché for International Banking and Finance at the Embassy of Panama here in Washington DC. We were supposed to discuss the effects of depressed petroleum prices on the exchange rates of reserve currencies with particular emphasis on the Chinese Yuan in light of its recent designation as such by the IMF. But the long face he pulled when he plunked down wearily on the couch in my office told me otherwise. This gentleman had something else on his mind, and it wasn’t at all pleasant. “Tom,” he wailed, staring up at the ceiling in despair, “thank your lucky stars you aren’t a […]

Mar 272016
 

Today, during lunch at Muze, my iPhone started to vibrate. I checked out the number calling me – it was Morton, who regular readers of this Web log will remember as an inveterate, peripatetic minion of Big Software. We go back a long way, and he’s a friend, of sorts. Tom: Holy smokes, Morton, where have you been? Morton: Since we last spoke? All over Silicon Valley. Tom: So you’re not with Yahoo anymore? Morton: Yahoo’s doomed. Tom: Glad to hear you finally figured that out. So where are you working now? Morton: Microsoft. Tom: No kidding? They took you back? Morton: No doubt about it, I did learn some… useful things while I was away; and they realized that. […]