Feb 212016

On Saturday, February 13, 2016, while on a hunting trip at the Cibolo Creek Ranch in Texas, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia finally did what many people – mostly liberals, of course – had been wishing he would do for three solid decades. He laid down and died. I subsequently spent three hours of my Sunday afternoon on the telephone with my dear sister Rose’s husband, Hank, and his sister-in-law, Shannon, discussing Scalia’s demise. As regular readers of this Web log know, Hank and Shannon are highly conservative Catholics, just like Justice Scalia was, and their first reaction to reports of his passing was one of extreme, conspiratorial hysteria. As far as Hank and Shannon, hunkered down in their survival […]

Feb 012016

Last Tuesday morning, I was visited by Dr. Singe Saleté, Federal Policy Consultant to the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality. “I’ve been waiting nearly a week for an opening in your schedule,” she complained as she seated herself in the chair immediately in front of my desk. “It appears you are a very difficult person reach. Is it always this hard to see you?” “The last ten days have been especially tough,” I explained. “Because of the snow storm, everyone with an appointment on Friday the twenty-second wanted to move it to one of the days earlier in the week, and everyone with a Monday appointment this week wanted to move it to today or tomorrow. The inherent chaos created […]

Jan 132016

As soon as Gretchen and I arrived at the office on Monday, she began receiving requests for a telephone consultation. “It’s some woman claiming to represent the Ted Cruz presidential campaign,” Gretchen explained, “who says her name is Ellen White.” “Would that by any chance be Ellen Gould White?” I asked. “Let me check,” Gretchen answered. “Yeah, she says that’s her all right.” “Okay,” I replied, “in that case, book her a free telephone consultation in the first available slot today.” “That Chinese capital markets expert from the World Bank scheduled to start ten minutes from now just canceled,” she informed me. “His secretary called and said he’s ‘not feeling well enough’ to come in and meet with you today. […]

Jan 052016

Like most other federal facilities that aren’t directly concerned with law enforcement or national defense, the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, a vast tract of land near the town of Burns in eastern Oregon, was closed on Saturday, January 2, 2016 in observance of the New Year holiday weekend. There’s an administration center there, consisting of several rustic stone and wood frame buildings set in an otherwise deserted, essentially uninhabited, high Western plains landscape. Under cover of darkness that night, a group of individuals, some of whom, at least, were armed, occupied those buildings, subsequently notifying whoever would listen that they comprise a militia with serious issues regarding the relationship between the citizens of the United States of America and its […]

Dec 292015

Monday morning, Dr. Telhas T’zee Yasharmouta al-Feekah, Chief Policy Attaché Without Portfolio at the Embassy of the Republic of Iraq, arrived at my office for a consultation. The discussion scheduled was supposed to be about restructuring Iraqi petroleum policy, but as he morosely settled into the tastefully upholstered chair in front of my desk, it was glaringly apparent he had something else much more pressing on his mind. “In two hours,” he informed me, “my government will announce that our forces have captured Ramadi.” “Gee whiz, your Excellency,” I observed, “you certainly don’t seem to be very happy about it.” “I’m not,” he sadly confessed while slowly shaking his head. “My goodness,” I pressed. “In a situation such as this, […]